Weird in a good way

Great Geico commercial!

Our two daughters are in middle school, and early on they fell right in line with pre-teen idiosyncrasies.  One trend involved insulting somebody in a kind voice and immediately following it up with “but not in a bad way.”   This phrase has magical powers in tweenie-land that mitigate the (somewhat) cloaked verbal attack.

“Your clothes don’t match . . . but not in a bad way.”

“You’re not as skinny as you used to be . . . but not in a bad way.”

Sometimes they’d switch it up by presenting its positive variant: “Your hair is getting gray . . . but in a good way.”

During a series at our church called Weird I wanted to share this phenomenon but I couldn’t recall examples.  On the way to church I asked Jess, 12 years-old at the time, to refresh my memory.  After coming through with several she asked me what the series was about.  I told her and she responded, “Wait a minute!  Are you going to tell the church that you think I’m weird?”

“Yes,” I replied “. . . but in a good way.”

Your faith will make you look weird to those who don’t understand it.  People who act ways that aren’t ordinary are considered strange.  Hebrews 11 is known as the faith chapter, but I prefer calling it the weird chapter.  Abel gave the best he had to a God he couldn’t see, Abraham took odds on a long shot for a lasting legacy and Noah built a huge boat in the middle of a desert.  God told them to do these things and they did, despite how weird they looked.

Anticipate your weirdness.  Embrace it.  And as people with raised eyebrows and furrowed foreheads shake their heads in disbelief, know that you’re weird in a good way.

Mall Walking

Vanda and I have gotten into the practice of walking together for exercise.  We didn’t want to stop during the winter, so we decided to give mall-walking a shot from time to time.  The doors open at 9am and lots of people are already there when we arrive at around 10.  On our initial visit we were immediately overwhelmed with the feeling that we were intruding on the established mall-walkers.  We’ve stumbled across a place that is open to all, but it’s obvious that we don’t belong.

The first thing we noticed is how young we are; early 40-somethings in a group of mostly retired people.  We don’t look like them.  We don’t dress like them.  Vanda and I occasionally indulge in a discrete game of “spot the toupee.”  Their conversations are about grandchildren, trips to Florida and the latest in cataract surgery technology.  The regulars group tables together in the coffee area at the center of the mall.  They reserve their spots with coats as they disperse and move in smaller groups for their daily exercise that is yet another thing that separates us from the crowd.

There are advanced mall walkers who move at a very fast pace.  I have to say, life will be good if I can move like them at their age.  There’s one guy whose so speeding I’m sure he’s lapped us once or twice.  They cover every crevice of the hallway, too. The particularly intense walkers hold one hand out to touch the wall as they move, partly to keep themselves accountable but partly, I think, to show the rest of us the high standards of their ritual.  It makes me feel a little inadequate, but I desperately don’t want to look like a mall-walking fanatic so I entice Vanda into turning sooner than the end of the hallway, a major no-no in walker-world.  It’s a place that is open to everyone, but though the people have never been mean, and most likely would be accepting if we engaged them in conversation, it’s clear to us that we don’t belong there.

But it’s not their responsibility to make us feel like we belong. If it were a church it would be. Yet I’m sure that people who go to a church for the first time feel the same way Vanda and I do at the mall. People have a need for spirituality so they go to church, even though they’re nothing like people who go there. Even in churches where members look and act like people from that community it’s hard for the members to see church from a new person’s perspective.  But we’ve got to try.  I’ve been to a few churches with great music and great teaching but have felt left out because nobody came to interact with me.

Jesus did his best to let people know they were accepted by him: children, women, the uneducated, the poor and the rich.  So let’s be intentional about accepting those who have had the courage to see what Jesus is all about through our Christian communities. They may not be wearing sweat suits and running shoes to our mall walk, but at least they’ve taken the first step.

Chapter 4 Exerpt: No Spin

This is an excerpt from Chapter 4: No Spin

On Election Day in 2004, I was greatly saddened by the subtle forfeiture of freedom in the United States of America that I witnessed.  It wasn’t a lack of voter turnout that taxed my patriotism, nor was it the shameless shenanigans by politicians to squeeze as many votes as possible from undecided voters.  What affected me more than anything else during that election cycle was what I saw while exercising the right afforded me by the shed blood of so many Americans.

I entered the voting booth and perused the panel of names for the candidates I had written down on a piece of paper.  I saw two ominous buttons, one for each major party that if chosen would automatically select all candidates from that party.

How many people chose the button for the party that they identify with, saving themselves the effort of actually finding out what those people actually stood for?  It makes me wonder how often party hard-liners have been taken advantage of.  They vote Democrat or Republican simply because they always have, or because their favorite pastor, movie star or musician has recommended it.  As a result, they forfeit their obligation as citizens of this great land and make themselves vulnerable to political thieves and robbers.  What is presented as a badge of loyalty is really a bad case of apathy.

Freedom taken for granted often results in laziness, and laziness makes us vulnerable to thieves and robbers of all kinds.  The Gate is our way to verify what we choose to believe as truth from God.  True citizens of heaven spend the effort to make sure we’re hearing the right Shepherd using The Gate as our safeguard.

In Jesus’ second analogy beginning in verse seven of John 10, he gave us another way to figure out truth: run it past The Gate.  He’s there to protect us from wandering off or being stolen away by thieves and robbers – even within the church:  

Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.  He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:7-10, NIV)

I Googled myself and found . . . Chicago Blackhawks?

I’ve searched my name in the past, like one does, to see if I’m even slightly famous.  Lately I’ve been searching my name to see if my blog shows up so that I can increase traffic. I ended up looking into the lives my fellow name-bearers.  It’s like getting a snapshot of some parallel universe.

Even with a rare surname like mine, there are plenty of guys who have my first name as well: A real estate broker in Florida who was convicted of a state ethics violation for his actions while serving as mayor, a construction manager in Richmond, Va, a computer engineer in Boston, and a guy who ran 3 miles in 16:06 in High School back in 1973.

I’ve actually heard of a couple Dave Knickerbockers without Google.  There’s one nearby in Salem, OH, who I’ve often thought of dropping in on someday and announcing “Hello, I’m Dave Knickerbocker.”  How weird would that be?  When we first arrived in Boardman, OH, in 2005, I read in the paper about UAW rep with my name who had just retired.  In half of my job interviews people asked me if I was his son. The assumption is logical because we bear the same name. That can work in my favor if the man I’m confused with has a respectable reputation, but I’d run into difficulties if I ever decided to move to that city in Florida where the formerly-honorable mayor David Knickerbocker lives.

The one that intrigues me the most while Google searching is Dave Knickerbocker, head of marketing for the Chicago Blackhawks.  My look into his parallel existence was more in-depth due to the newspaper articles and radio spots that come with his work.  I haven’t had much exposure to hockey, but I have many other similarities with him:

• During the parade to celebrate winning the Stanley Cup in 2010 he was irritated that the fly over was five minutes tardy and that the spotlight on the banner was late by three seconds.  The timing of Sunday morning worship has often been a concern of mine.
• He stressed about not being able to find the puck from the last playoff game of their championship run.  My wife quips that the best place to hide something from me is right in front of my face.
• Dave has played a role in two Emmy awards for tv commercials.  Hisapproach could be a chapter in my book: “You have to make sure they (the players and coaches) have fun. We want to make you see their personalities without them seeming to be an absolute joke.”

The quote that intrigued me the most was about his approach to the job when he signed on in 2009.  It’s one of those times when sharing my name is a good thing because it’s associated with greatness.  The team needed rebuilding and his response to those resisting change was: “That’s the way they had always done it, but that wasn’t going to be the way moving forward,’ Knickerbocker said. “My name is on this.”

Well, my name is on it too.

This touches on the point of the third of the Ten Commandments.  God’s name is very important to him because it is his identity, and his objection goes beyond our casual use of it.  Whatever recognition we get for our actions, his Name is on it too.  We should be more enraged about people in our Christian gatherings who don’t show grace than we are about hearing a child say “Oh my God” outside of prayer or a worship song.  God wants people to know him, and our charge is to show them the truth about who he really is.

Is God pleased that you sign his Name on your life, or are you just forging it?

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’”  (John 14:6, NIV)

Church drop-outs

Ed Stetzer blogged: “there is no statistical difference that the dropout rate among those who attended college than those that did not attend college.” http://www.edstetzer.com/2012/02/santorumstats.html  Stetzer adds that 70% of all people from the ages of 18-22 stop attending church, though 35% of them return. So, the dilemma isn’t due to religion-hating faculty.

Since Vanda is now a full-time librarian (thanks for all the fb prayers and congrats), we’ve resurrected talk of me getting a master’s degree.  It has been a desire of mine for many years, but the cost and time consumption of church planting has prevented it.  The cost may still be too high, but the dream is still alive!  When I was younger I worked hard to excel in classes that interested me.  Those that didn’t click with me got a cursory effort, enough to get a respectable grade.  However, I eagerly look forward to educational opportunities as an adult.  The further along in the educational process I go, the more I can choose classes that really interest me.  But, that’s not all about schooling that is enhanced by age.

When I was young I had to take what teachers said as truth.  Even as an undergrad (the first time, when I was still in the 18-22 group), I had little life experience to bounce my learning off of to evaluate it’s truth. After a couple of major-changes, and nearly enough classes for a doctorate, my undergraduate degree in Christians Education was awarded to me in April, 2007.  I was 36, and had gotten more for my money than I could have at 22 because my life experience offered instant feedback on the teaching.  If what I’m being taught is true, than it has to make sense in real life. If it doesn’t, I get bored with it because of it’s not true and therefore irrelevant.

What if the 70% who drop out of church had more opportunity to ask questions about Jesus and the Bible instead of just being lectured on it once a week? I was in a rather large Sunday School class as an adult where the doctrinal beliefs of the teacher were well-known, but I wouldn’t raise my hand to ask a question.  Earlier somebody had made a point that contrasted slightly with the teacher, and the teacher responded in a loud voice, making it clear to everyone in the room (and the rooms around us) of the absurdity of the question.  The teacher had intellectual superiority and so there was no room for debate.

People leave Jesus because there is little or no opportunity to evaluate the Good News with real life.  That’s why I dream of having a church that meets around coffee tables where I can teach the Bible and allow for discussion around tables about it.  It’s a place where it’s okay to disagree because that is how we really learn - by testing the theories of faith against the backdrop of our own realities.

So, those in opposition to Jesus can’t lay claim as the cause of the collegiate portion of the 70% who drop out of church, but what affect do they have on those who go to college without knowing about Jesus? It’s easy to impress anti-faith agenda on people who don’t see a proper representation of the alternative.  We need to be accountable for those young people too.  I just finished a book by Philip Yancey called What Good Is God?  Three pages from the end of the book he wrote: “Jesus himself rarely offered theological proofs, he simply went around transforming lives.” He did that by teaching truth that can only be solidified in real life.

Zee truth to leev by

Looney Tunes star Pepe Le Pew and your average psycho in a murder movie have something in common.  Though their victims race for their lives, or in Sir Skunk’s case for their olfactory nerves, the pursuers manage to keep pace.  Compounding the disturbing nature of these scenes is the casualness of the chasers.  The murderers seldom get past a brisk walk.  Pepe prances playfully to Jack-in-the-box type music, always succeeding in overtaking his femme-skunk who has been moving at light speed to avoid the unwelcome advance.  He is under the impression that their interaction is only natural and that her resistance is futile.  “Zee cabbage does not run away from zee corn-beef,” he reasons.  The problem is that she is actually a black cat with a strip of white paint on her back.

Why do Christians live our lives with the same attitude?  The Evil one tries to convince us that it is pointless to resist him, that no matter how hard we run he will still catch us with little effort.  Save your breath and just give in, he suggests.  You’re only being who you were destined to be.  We give in to his lies too often.

It may have been in our nature to be evil at one time but as 1^st John 3:1 declares, it is no longer our fate.  Jesus’ salvation is comprehensive because of the unmatchable quality of his power, so living in fear is the useless exercise.

The next time Satan taunts you in a French accent “You are my peanut.  I am your brittle,” don’t start running in fear.  He’s just mistaking you for one of his kind.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

1st John 3:1, NIV

The Attraction of Americn Idol

This is an excerpt from Chapter 3: The Ripken Perspective.

The craze referred to as The Law of Attraction has been widely promoted in popular books like The Secret (Rhonda Byrne) and The Key to Living the Law of Attraction (Jack Canfield and D. D. Watkins).  It has captured the imagination of many celebrities and entrepreneurs.  The premise is simple: Everybody has the ability to attract to themselves whatever they focus their attention on.  If we focus on positive things, positive things will be drawn to us.  Accordingly, being concerned with potentially harmful aspects of our circumstances brings bad things to our lives.

            The only reason people don’t live the life they envision for themselves, per this theory, is that they aren’t taking advantage of their power to manipulate the universe to give them what they want.  The universe has no option but to return to everyone in greater measure the vibes they send to it via their thoughts.  Canfield and Watkins put it this way: “Basically, the universe will respond abundantly to the vibrations of whatever you are passionate about, focused upon, committed to and to that which you truly believe is possible.”[i]

            I wonder what people eliminated from the first round of American Idol think about this.  My wife and I like to watch the initial round of auditions.  Occasionally, a would-be idol would have a very nice voice that would please the judges and provide the feel-good story that makes the show so popular.  Often, though, we are even more entertained by those who, until the filming of the show, had been grossly misinformed about their star-studded potential.

            Sorry to be a killjoy, but I can’t help but feel sorry for them.  The entertainment value of their performances has been greatly diminished for me (though admittedly, not eliminated).  Not only are their dreams shattered, they’ve been made the laughingstock of a nation – if only for a few moments.  The infamy can last much longer for the exceptionally untalented.

Many of these people desired the opportunity for musical success every bit as much as those with talent.  The shock and negative feedback by rejected participants to the judges’ comments is proof that their passion for their dream is as intense as that of their successful counterparts.  Why didn’t the universe reward their positive vibes?

As glaring as this flaw in the Law of Attraction is, there’s more.  The most damaging thing about the Law of Attraction is the perspective it promotes to those who follow it: You know what true happiness is for you.  You design your own spiritual journey and you define its ultimate destination.

Instead, God wants us to trust him, our Maker, to tell us who he designed us to be.  For that to happen, we have to learn to believe him more instead of continuing to follow our unrefined instincts.

Copyrited material

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[i] Jack Canfield and D. D. Watkins, Key to Living the Law of Attraction, (Deerfield Beach, FL:Health Communications,     Inc., 2008), 39.

Meet the Girl Who Met God: Lauren Winner

It took a few days, but I finally got over my wife teasing me about reading a book called Girl Meets God (Algonquin Books).  What made it particularly cruel was that Vanda had recommended the book to me in the first place.  But, the book was worth it, and Vanda has since encouraged me to read Mudhouse Sabbath, another Winner book.

Lauren Winner is an intellectual who realizes that she doesn’t know it all.  As a result, I am inclined to learn along with her.  She is a professor at Duke Divinity School, so she has the capacity to string together complex thoughts.  But she does it in relation to real life – her real life.  Hot theological and religious topics are doused with humor and openness about her insecurities while she deals with things like struggling with family and friends because of her life choices.  They affect not only her decision to become a Christian despite her Jewish upbringing, but to continue to learn about God after being baptized.

With regard to my book, I was very interested to read that the deciding factor in her decision to become a Christian was a strong attraction Jesus.  Anybody who honestly searches for the truth about God will be drawn to Jesus Christ.  Lauren’s pursuit was honest, and Jesus drew her to himself.

So, I’m not ashamed to be known as the reader who met the girl who met God.  You won’t be either.

http://laurenwinner.net/books/girl-meets-god/

Why Linsanity?

Why are you drawn to Jeremy Lin?  Maybe you’re not.  I am.  For all of my formative years I lived in New York or the New York City area, and I cheered for the team that bears my name.  I still believe the best dunk of all time was John Starks, another surprise NBA star, exploding on the baseline and throwing one down on Michael Jordan and Horace Grant.

So, I admit to being caught up in the excitement.  But, what is it about the Jeremy Lins and Tim Tebows that make us want to spend a small fortune on jerseys and tickets to see them play live?  They’ve done amazing things, but there are things that are far more valuable to attract our attention.  Dressing up in support of real heroes should translate into people walking around in a nun’s habit like Mother Theresa or in fatigues to emulate our military.  But, we don’t (most of us, anyway).

Is it because, while we honor and respect those who make great sacrifices for others, we don’t really want to be like them?  If we had the chance to be like Jeremy Lin, or for ladies who would love to be his vaLINtine, most of us would take it.

What do you think?  I’m tossing this out there for a bit of research for my book.  Thanks for helping out.